Ask any parent what they worry about at the school gate and friendships will be near the top of the list. Will she have someone to play with? Will she be included? What happens when there is a falling out? For children, friendships are often the thing that matters most about school, and they deserve the same care and attention as anything on the timetable.
Today marks the first of our House wellbeing events this year, and Warwick House is going first.
Our first House wellbeing event
Every girl and member of staff at St Hilda’s belongs to one of three Houses: York, Lancaster or Warwick. (The Headmaster is the only exception, and remains firmly neutral.) This term, our Heads of House are organising a series of wellbeing events designed to do one simple thing: bring girls from different year groups together to mix, play and get to know one another.
Warwick House is hosting the first event, with York and Lancaster holding theirs in the following weeks. For many of the younger girls, it is a chance to spend time with older pupils they might otherwise only see across the playground.
Why mixing year groups matters
Friendships that cross year groups are one of the quiet strengths of a smaller school. Younger girls gain role models and someone to look up to. Older girls learn patience, responsibility and how to put someone else at ease. And everyone benefits from a wider circle, so that if one friendship hits a bumpy patch, there are other familiar faces around.
It is also what gives a school a family feel. When a girl in Form VI knows the name of a Reception child and stops to say hello in the corridor, that is the kind of school we want to be.
Learning to be a good friend
Kindness comes naturally to most children, but friendship still has to be learned. Sharing, taking turns, noticing when someone is left out and saying sorry after a fall-out are skills, and like any skill they improve with practice and guidance. Through myHappymind and our PSHCE lessons, the girls talk about what makes a good friend, how to handle disagreements and how to repair things afterwards. Fall-outs are a normal part of growing up; what matters is that children learn how to put things right.
How we help friendships grow day to day
- House buddies, which pair older and younger girls so that everyone has a friendly face
- Form VI Wellbeing Prefects, who plan activities and keep an eye out for anyone on their own
- Our Playground Squad, girls from Forms IV to VI who meet weekly and help others at break and lunch
- Small classes, where teachers know each girl well enough to spot when something is not right
- Nurture groups such as Brick Club, where quieter children can build friendships at their own pace
Supporting friendships at home
Parents play a big part too. A few ideas:
- Listen first, before trying to fix things; often she just needs to be heard
- Invite someone new round to play, not just her closest friend
- Talk about what a good friend does, and notice when she is one
- Remember that ups and downs are normal, and most fall-outs are forgotten by the end of the week
- Let her form teacher know if something is worrying her, so that we can help
Kindness is one of our school values for good reason. If you would like to see how it shapes everyday life at St Hilda’s, come and visit us at an Open Morning or on a personal tour.
